My boyfriend does meditation at night before he goes to bed and in the morning before he goes to work.  He tells me that this is keeping him more focused, less anxious and is curbing his anger.  I can see it working except for when the computer starts to go slow, and then I catch him kicking the computer.  I kindly remind him that he is only making it worse.  Not helpful really when someone is seeing red with frustration.

I find myself getting pushed into that direction everyday now because of work pressures.  I can only take responsibility for my own actions when anger errupts but I cannot be held accountable for the bad behaviour acted out towards me from my colleagues.  There are the constant interruptions when I am trying to have my lunch.  I get a half hour.  When I am interrupted during my lunch I kindly advise them that I will come and see them afterwards.  The look on their faces is as if they have just been told that they have to eat a pile of poo.  They then walk away offended.

This makes my blood boil.  If the interruptions only happened occassionally then I would be reasonable but of late it is every day.  Every day.  And often the same people – male.

The culture of my workplace is very male dominated.  And the other women, well they seem to be content on being taken advantage of.

There is no unification amongst the women because we are spread thin throughout the office building.  But when I am able to have a chat with my kind, they too have the same complaints.

So, this afternoon while I am on my lunch I am writing this and guess what?  Interrupted yet again by one of my male colleagues.

Here goes Nirvana’s Negative Creep playing on repeat through my mind.  I am and will always be a Riot Girl.

 

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